A far better gravitational analogy, assuming I did the numbers right in my head, when a cop stands a normal distance away from me while talking to me, the gravitational force he exerts on my body is assaulting me with about ten billionths of a newton. Depending on how many donuts he's eaten in his career the force might be higher but it would be in the "dozens of billionths of a newton" for sure. And no means no, and no level of assault is acceptable.

Having a cop stand to either side of me superficially would balance the gravitational force, but unfortunately I'd still be getting violently physically assaulted by tidal forces as my flesh stretches out ever so microscopically toward them both.